Dealing with a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease can be incredibly challenging, both for the individual with the illness and for their loved ones. As the disease progresses, it becomes increasingly difficult to recognize the person you once knew and loved, even though they are still physically present.
But how can you maintain your relationship with someone who has Alzheimer’s disease? Understanding the effects that Alzheimer’s has on emotional and psychological responses is the first step in adjusting your expectations and finding a new way to relate to them.
It’s Not You, It’s the Disease
“It’s important to differentiate the disease from the person as early as possible,” says Virginia Wadley Bradley, PhD, a professor of gerontology, geriatrics, and palliative care at the University of Alabama at Birmingham. “Having an understanding of what’s happening to the person’s brain and how it affects their behavior helps you provide compassion and support.”
Alzheimer’s disease can be divided into three basic stages: early, middle, and late. In the early or mild stage, memory begins to fail, making it difficult for your loved one to remember things, manage their medications, and handle financial matters.
As Alzheimer’s progresses into the middle and late stages, these symptoms worsen and the person you once knew will respond to the world around them in different ways. They may struggle to control their emotions and may become unable to care for themselves.
Naturally, these changes in behavior can be very distressing for the person with Alzheimer’s and their caregivers. “There is a mourning process as you realize you can no longer have the same relationship you once had,” Bradley explains.
A New Way to Relate
Coming to terms with your loved one’s diagnosis is the first step in allowing a new relationship to form. As their personality shifts, accepting that your relationship with your loved one has changed is crucial. This involves a way of caring for your loved one called relationship-centered care that acknowledges who they were and meets them where they are.
Bradley says that relationship-centered care focuses on ways to maintain dignity and compassion for the person with Alzheimer’s disease while leveraging observations of the relationship between the patient and their family caregiver(s).
